Trying time

Here is a sneak peak at my Christmas tree! My 'Christmas spirit' is at an all time low this year but this is me trying...

What I'm listening to:

Hello, indeed...

Bigmouth Strikes Again...

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking

When I said I'd like to smash every tooth

In your head

Oh ... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking

When I said by rights you should be

Bludgeoned in your bed 

The Smiths - My absolute favourite band. If this were the last band I were to ever hear.. I'd die a happy person x

You know, some days...

There are days that are bad, days that good, great and fun and then there are days were you are missing someone so close to you that you can't breathe, you can't call them because where ever they are you're pretty sure they don't have a phone. I am not talking about missing an ex lover or missing your boyfriend or your very best friend. I am talking about missing somebody that is physically not around you anymore. It makes me so sick to my stomach. This feeling that I will never ever get to read another art book with them or watch a documentary on something and then talk about it with our strong opinions.. I will never get to have a tea with them or call them or watch their creativity move the people around them. I will never get to see how much they love me or tell me how proud they are of me. I will never get to introduce them to the things I am now interested in or tell them that they are my biggest inspiration in life.. Nope, never again. All I can do now is read these books alone, watch these documentary's on my own and talk to a picture... These are the worst kind of days.